I think this is the longest blog I have written, but I thought I would share this story I thought was interesting. Let me know what you think, maybe I will share more stories like this in the future.
So one night I go out with a buddy of mine to hang out and watch Sunday Night Football. We go to a place that he wants to meet up with some of his friends from work. By the time we get there they are completely loaded, they are taking shots and chasers back to back to back to back to back. As guys are getting their tabs they have spent anywhere from $200 - $300, and this is by no means one of those swanky clubs nowadays where you are ordering bottle service to get a table. This tab is from ordering round after round from the bar.
Since my buddy (for the record is also married, but he is a white guy) and I are late, we are way behind the curve on the buzz… Plus most of the people are getting ready to leave (probably about 15-17 people in all). That leaves me with my buddy Jason, his co-worker and friend Mandy (who is Black) and her friend Jamie (who is white).
As you may imagine this is quite embarrassing for 2 married guys to be hanging out at the bar with 2 extremely drunk girls. To make matters worse they are still trying to order more drinks (considering they haven’t paid for any all night). Fortunately, shortly thereafter the waitress cuts them off. I am expecting there to be a scene but they were too drunk to even argue. The waitress offers to bring them coffee, and they are like whatever!
So they are drinking the coffee, and Jamie is stirring the coffee and spilling it all over the table and her (it is really a sad sight). I don’t think she ever even drank any, but somehow she happens to drop her spoon on the floor. I see the spoon on the floor, but I am thinking what is the point in picking it up? It’s not like she is going to use it. Plus I am doing my best to pretend that WE are not all here together (which is technically true).
Well Mandy decides she is going to pick up the spoon, and as she reaches down for the spoon she isn’t coming back up…… This was truly a sight to see as Mandy is about 5’-10” and 200+ lbs (closer to 300) and it looks like she has just passed out on the floor. At this point everyone in the bar is looking at her, and then looking up at Jason and I like are ya’ll going to help her? You guys sat there and let her get wasted…..
So at this point there is no possibility of saving face, and you can tell the bar staff is about ready for us to head out. The waitress is bringing over our checks and begins asking Mandy and Jamie if she needs to call them a cab as they obviously are unable to drive home. Mandy says that she has called her sister and that she is on her way to pick her up. Jamie almost too drunk to even answer looks over at me and says. “He is going to take me home…..” The waitress seeing a look on my face that is a combination of “I know she didn’t just say that” and “There is no way that is going to happen” asks me if I am going to give her a ride home.
The waitress is looking at me, and I am looking at Jason and Mandy like “Can I get some help here” and I say to the waitress, “She has not asked me to take her home.” The waitress says to me, “I think she is asking you now.” So I say OK, at this point really having no intention of driving her home. Little did I know the waitress went and told the BOUNCER to be on the look out for Jamie who was in no shape to drive home and that I was going to be taking her home. So as we are leaving the BOUNCER grabs me and is like you are going to take her home right? So I say yes! As we walk out the door Jamie is stumbling around the parking lot looking for her car and Jason and Mandy are yelling at me, “Go get her you said you were going to take her home.” Jason hops in his car and leaves, and Mandy’s sister shows up about the same time and she leaves. I am in disbelief! They just r-o-l-l-e-d out and left me here with this “drunk white girl” that I just met! Plus the BOUNCER is looking at me like put the girl in the car right now and get off my property.
So I let her get into my car, with 2 major worries: 1) She is too drunk to even tell me how to get to her house, and 2) that she is going to vomit in my truck. Surprisingly she is able to give me directions although I kind of had to follow the context clues as she was pretty hard to understand. She also didn’t vomit so I am actually feeling pretty OK about the whole thing at this point. So I am helping her walk to her door (yes she is unable to walk on her own), but at least I didn’t have to try to carry her. I am basically planning to get her to the door and leave her laying right there in the foyer for the rest of the night.
Surprisingly once she gets the door open she is able to stagger to her bedroom on her own and basically passes out on the bed. I call out to her to see if she wants to try to lock the door as I leave, but she is pretty much out. I close the door behind me and start laughing out loud, partially in relief, and partially at myself thinking if she was a little more than moderately cute, not sloppy drunk, and I didn’t have to be at home by 11 this may have been a story that never would be disclosed on the blog…….
So the next morning I get a call on my cell phone from a number I don’t recognize and it’s Jamie. You have got to be kidding me…….. She is thanking me for taking her home and asking me if I would take her to get her car from the bar? My response, “How did you get my phone number?” I told her I couldn’t do it, but since she rides the DART rail, there is a rail stop that is probably only a block and a half from the bar (neglecting to tell her that it is probably a 10 minute walk from the rail stop to the street).
So the second I hang up my next call is to Jason, My question, “Why in the world did you give that crazy woman my phone number? He said, “I didn’t I gave it to Mandy.” I asked him if he knew she was going to give it to Jamie? He said no, she said she just wanted to call you and thank you for taking Jamie home. I asked him why he punked out on me and left me at the bar with his drunk friend? He laughed, and said “Man I had to get home, I owe you one next time we are out 1st round is on me.” I told him 1st and 2nd round is on him!
My next call was to Mandy. My question, “Why in the world did you give that crazy woman my phone number?” “I was actually going to let you and Jason slide with pawning her off on me last night since everything turned out OK, but this is way way over the top.” She said she (Jamie) called me and asked for your number so that she could thank you for taking her home last night. To that I said, “Why in the world didn’t you offer to take her home in the first place?” She said, “I didn’t want to fool with her because she was drunk, plus my sister wouldn’t have been to keen about picking her up.” She says. “I am sorry, next time we hang out the 1st round is on me.” What am I now a Mexican Construction Worker pay me off with a couple of beers? I told Mandy that the whole night is going to be on her. She laughs and says Jamie is the one that should be paying. I told her, Jamie and I are not going to be in public ever again, particularly at some place that serves alcoholic beverages. Also the next time I see you (Mandy) again will probably be my last….. She laughs and says you are so crazy! To that I say, but I am so so serious………..
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