How I Became a Pirate

I was talking to one of my co-workers a few weeks ago. She is the co-worker that has the big mouth and gives the dirt on everybody (me included). She mentioned to me that another co-worker had eye surgery that was specifically for people that did not qualify for Lasik. On top of that if you carry a certain insurance through our company they even pay for it.

So I went to talk to my co-worker that had done the procedure. She excitedly told me all about it. I mentioned to her that I had the same problem. That I went to the Clearview Eye Care Center and they told me that Lasik would do more damage to my eyes than good, and too absolutely not tell anyone ever perform Lasik on my eyes...

She then told me that Clearview is the same place that she got the procedure done. Are you kidding me? No Way! So I called the contact she gave me the next day to find out about the procedure, and the woman asked do you think you can come in today? Really? So I went to the battery of tests to see if I qualified. Unbelievable, did you ever know that you could get fatigued from an eye exam? I set an appointment for the next week for the 2nd round of tests and to find out if I qualified.

Did I mention that this woman was muy caliente.. and I didn't need vision correction to see that! Needless to say I was feeling very comfortable with the whole idea. So I qualified and they scheduled me to come in for the procedure 2 weeks later. Wow! I wasn't expecting this all to happen so fast. I needed to rush and get this procedure approved through the insurance. My co-worker had given me a contact, but initially I didn't use it, I figured that I would just go through the official process. When I called I the rep was Black (need I say more). So 10 days later after I had called and called at least 5 times I am frantically calling the contact she gave me to help me out.

This brother took over like a General. He took over and handled everything, and I mean everything and had all of the paperwork wrapped up by the next day, and was on vacation the day after that. I can't thank that brother enough, that is the type of service we should be giving each other!

So I go in the day of the surgery and I am so nervous I am sweating, and probably at a body temperature of 101. Having never had a surgery of any kind, I was nervous about the anesthesia, I was nervous at the thought that even though this man has been doing opthamology longer than I have been on Earth that he could have an off day and I could go from nearsighted to blind.

Things got worse, the nurse that was trying to insert an IV for me to get the anesthesia was having a hard time finding a vein in my hand. Yes, her having a hard time means I was in severe pain. She said I had thick skin, I told her that she just must not be used to seeing Black people as patients. I must have had quite a look on my face; because she got up and ran (literally not a figure of speech) to get the doctor to finish the job.

So after that was done, shortly after I am in he operating room. They are talking to me explaining the procedure, and the doctor comes in to give me the feel good juice. Thank you and good night! That is the last thing that I remember... They told me that I was talking and that I had something to drink and ate a cookie. I recall nothing!

So I come back the next morning for a post-op exam and I had 20/16 vision in my left eye. That is why I am a pirate, as I don't get the right eye done until November.

All because I took time to talk to the gossip girl at work... Maybe they aren't all that bad!!